Craving something in particular? Eat your Greens! (All of it :)

Ever since I overcame severe gastritis half a decade ago, I have since attested and have been drawn towards the benefits of a plant-based diet. Speaking of gastritis, I know many of us can testify of the sheer discomfort and pain that this intestinal ailment imposes upon its victims!
Since subscribing to a plant-based diet for the last few years, I sort of had the experience of “once you get the swing of it, you’ll adapt” to vegetarianism. But it wasn’t until the last two years have I faced the reality that at times I have been craving animal flesh – such as chicken or beef. And in confronting this secret desire, I had to decide whether I would abandon a plant-based diet completely or figure out if there was some sort of issue or deficiency that I needed to address concerning my physical health.

Research shows that cravings may indicate not only mineral deficiencies in the body, but also excessive consumption of certain stimulating foods.

According to research by Alonso-Alonso et al.¹ the overeating of stimulative foods that trigger excess dopamine release (rewarding effect on your brain) can cause addictive food behaviours and unhealthy cravings. On the other hand, cravings can also indicate particular nutrient deficiencies. For example, my particular struggle with meat cravings was associated with my lack of iron and calcium minerals. Recalling these “meat cravings” that I had, I clearly recall an absence of dark green leafy veggies on my plate – due to being unable to afford it or just not having time to purchase it or grow it outside. Foods also rich in calcium include chia seeds (can be sprinkled raw unto your meal as you are about to eat) and celery (can be cut up raw and added to a salad or half-cooked in the menu which is being cooked).

Further findings in Alonso-Alonso et al.¹ show that cravings are “an intense and persistent desire for a food caused by a nutritional deficiency, boredom, or self-imposed food restrictions.”
Another such example of deficiency cravings are a craving for sugary foods which has a link to lacking various minerals including chromium (broccoli, grapes, oats, potatoes and tomatoes contain adequate amounts), sulfur (adequately available in allium veggies such as garlic, onions, leeks and chives), and tryptophan (an amino acid which according to sleep.org, gets turned “into a B vitamin called niacin. Niacin plays a key role in creating serotonin, a neurotransmitter that’s associated with sleep and melatonin levels (a hormone that controls your sleep-wake cycles).” Foods containing tryptophan amino acid include oats, lentils, nuts, tofu, cheese, beans and eggs.

But as mentioned earlier, cravings do not necessarily indicate a deficiency, but can signify something else. Some other reasons for cravings can include suppressing thoughts concerning certain foods imposed by advertisements, social circles and associations²; dealing with stress³, confusing thirst for hunger⁴, and insufficient sleep⁵.

Despite a plant-based diet being ideal overall for longevity and optimum health, the key principle of a balanced diet must be followed. A diet that has proteins, carbs, vitamins and is mineral rich will do us much good at the end of the day. A healthy body contributes to a healthy mind; and a healthy mind contributes to a well-versed individual who can serve God and his or her fellow humans. The Bible says, ‘Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth.‘ (3 John 1:2).

A healthy soul composes of the entire human being: the spirit, the mind and the body (Genesis 2:7; Ecclesiastes 12:7) and thus a proper maintenance of the human faculties will prepare us to relate with God and hear His voice speaking to us more clearly.

References:
1. Alonso-Alonso M, Woods SC, Pelchat M, Grigson PS, Stice E, Farooqi S, Khoo CS, Mattes RD, Beauchamp GK. Food reward system: current perspectives and future research needs. Nutrition reviews. 2015 May 1;73(5):296-307.
2. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/20434065/
3. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/11070333/
4. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23803882/
5. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23479616/

Tomato Chickpea Salad

Chickpea Salad

24 June, 2020

During these uncertain times, the Bible stands as my source of confidence and refuge. As I grow in my understanding of the humble Creator God, as intelligently revealed in the Bible, a huge factor that has been a solid testament in my life is the understanding of Biblical diet.

Maybe later, I could do a write-up about what the Bible reveals about a godly diet and an ideal meal plan, but for now let’s just savour upon the preparation of this delicious tomato-chickpea salad pictured above.

First of all, here is some brain food and spiritual food for thought; In the book of Romans 14:2, the Bible declares, ‘For one believeth that he may eat all things: another, who is weak, eateth herbs. To clearly digest this verse from Romans, the Bible is saying to him that is astheneó (G770 – sick, physical and spiritual weakness), God has provided lachanon (G3001 – herbs, vegetables). It would be interesting to note that food alters or governs mood and emotion.

Let’s go back to our tomato-chickpea salad:

180812-Picky-Eaters-Cover-SC085 — Source: Seattle’s Child

The best way to extracting optimum flavour from tomatoes is to season it beforehand, then add in the remainder of the salad. In a salad serving for two, one large tomato or two small ones would be adequate.

Cut the tomatoes into chewing sized-chunks. Put them into a bowl. Add some grated garlic (preferably), a bit of coriander, slight lemon juice (preference), some cayenne pepper (or two bitsy chillies), and salt and pepper. Give it all a thorough toss and let it all mix in. If you want to give it a bit of a sweetness, add a drip of honey. A beautiful additional for smell and taste is grounded nuts, slightly roasted over a hot pan. Then added to the salad mix. Let the tomatoes sit for 15 minutes.

Add a cup of cooked chickpeas to the tomato delight. Then add an adequate drizzle of olive oil over the whole thing. Not too much though as the whole salad will then become soggy. Serve with crackers or slices of toasted bread.

As we say back in the islands, ‘The food is ready, so come and eat!’

The God Encounter

**Encountering God is not as complicated and so far away, as most of us think.**
(Photo: Motoki Tonn)

In his epic manuscript, ‘Where Do We Go From Here – Chaos or Community?’, Martin Luther King Jr. writes in the sixth chapter of the book, entitled ‘The World House’, and I quote: “Every man lives in two realms: the internal and the external. The internal is that realm of spiritual ends expressed in art, literature, morals, and religion. The external is that complex of devices, techniques, mechanisms, and instrumentalities by means of which we live.”

The “internal ” of which MLK discusses is the inner person. The Control Panel; The ‘Who, What, When, Where, Why or How’ foundation of every individual.

With that being said, every mechanism is engineered and constructed for a specific purpose, function and limited durability – as it is with human beings. We are not the conception, or the intermediate offshoot of an ongoing evolution. Organised religion is the result of vast collections of people realising this and responding in their own customised perceptions and rituals. But despite the colour and variability in all of these, the common reasoning – which is all things are created with purpose and a definitive function – affirms the undeniable, that there is an Absolute One Truth. And There is an Absolute God. The plurality or singularity of this God is a separate issue (one that I may discuss in the future, exclusively).

Most people agree that it’s wrong to steal, murder, rape, and disrespect and/or assault another human being. These morals are universal. Therefore, there must be a Universal Ultimate. With that being said, there are two possibilities that can result from this universal ultimate; it’s either all truths are true, or there are just multiple versions and perceptions of the One Particular Truth. And I articulate that the latter is the most likely. Please understand, this is not discriminatory or segregation; it is just plain reasonable logic.

Understanding this basic concept, though it may not be identified clearly, drives the human urge to acquire moral perfection. A personal endeavour to appease this Divine Authority, with the limited abilities and resources available in our means. There is either going to be a final outburst of discovering self-inability to attain righteousness, and finally resign the effort altogether; or, evolve into a person of self-righteousness and self justification.
All religions teach “do and don’t do” to gain a favourable impression and approval from God. But only the Bible proclaims that we can only attain reconciliation with God, not by any holy performance, lest any person should boast; but by the simple confession of personal moral imperfection, and a realisation of the personal capacity of limited abilities. Then following that, there is an urgent request for the removal of the guilt and shame; and the imparting of a spiritual anointing to supernaturally empower a resistance to evil, and its diverse appeal to our lusts; and resulting ultimately in gradual destruction. Fortifying the mind with evidences and life lessons from the Bible now becomes the foundation to “keeping the faith”. It is also important to understand, the God of the Bible invites individuals to a development of an intimate relationship. The Bible is the profile and history of the unchanging, ever-loving Creator God.

The Ten Commandments is then the marriage covenant between a person and God. It is the “please don’t, coz I won’t” summary of the mutual trust between God and an individual.

In conclusion, God is a personal and relatable Divinity. Not a deity that requires human obsession and radicalism, but an intimate God, “not willing that any should perish, but that all might come to repentance.”

If you like the stories you’ve read, and it motivates, provokes analysis, inspires you to search for the answers to Life’s Big Questions, please leave a comment, like, follow or give us direct contact at big.life.questions.101@gmail.com

Also check out Tevita Mataika’s new books, Sex. Hell? Evolution and Religion and The Holy Ghost – an Introduction. Cheers! We need your support. Vinaka!

Overcome The Fear of Flying

July 10, 2019

**Many people suffer from fears concerning air travel…**
(Photo: jeshoots)

Aerophobia or Aviophobia, is the fear of flying in a plane, helicopter or other flying aircrafts. Persons experiencing aerophobia may show symptoms of severe anxiety, shaking, intestinal distress, sweating, shortness of breath and a fast heart rate. Aerophobia may be caused by many reasons: fear of crowded and narrow spaces, turbulence, fear of heights, ear discomfort when changing altitudes, reminiscing upon a scary story or news article about flying, and also the fear of dying.

The BIG QUESTION here is, how does one overcome Aerophobia?

There are various measures one may take in order to overcome Aerophobia.
But at the basis of it all, Aerophobia is a mentality; With proper analysis, a cause must be defined and identified. Once the root issue may be identified, proceeding to a practical and relevant solution is then selected.

Identifying the establishing reasoning behind this mentality may help the healing process. Sometimes, the underlying factor may stem from childhood experiences.

Some ways to overcome aerophobia include: therapy, medication, or seeking another alternative form of travelling. Some experts also recommend sedatives (not medication, neither are they harmful substances: but alcohol or herbs such as kava, or green tea) or mental diversions (such as reading, listening to calm music, preparing and watching funny T.V. shows) while on the plane.

Therapy would be the most effective and potent remedy for Aerophobia. Talking about the issue and allowing others to acknowledge your fear of flying enables you to realise that the fear is just in your mind.

Furthermore, it is fair to mention that there are obvious risks in travelling by flight; mechanical malfunction, human error (in regards to the technicians, engineers and pilots), terror threats, travelling with annoying people, and so forth.

But the success and convenience of air travel should be the most viable proof – that air travel is safe, comfortable and the fastest way to travel to distant locations. It would be an utter disadvantage not to engage in air travel.

Aditionally, some of the most breath-taking sceneries are observed from an air flight; and also, the most beautiful and exotic places in the world are only accessible by air travel.

In conclusion, aerophobia affects thousands of people. Therefore, it is not unique or a personal issue, but it affects all kinds of people. With the given prescriptions, such as therapy, travelling with some close friends, or travelling by road or sea – aerophobia can be overcome.

God exists? Really?

A humorous topic…some find theology as fairytales, while the majority don’t.
( Photo: Kurt Kleeb)

Some find the discussion of deity and theology, humorous and irrelevant. Tell that to the majority of humanity – of present and of yonder. Pew Research Center’s Forum on Religion & Public Life (a research team based in Washington D.C.), finds that there are 5.8 billion adults and children who are practicing religion. This represents 84% of the 2010 world population of 6.9 billion people. Are they all a bunch of losers? Depends on your definition, facts and motives.

It is fair to say that religion has helped societies maintain a fair level of civility, especially in the developed countries. But what about the existence of God? Are there any evidence? In my book, Sex. Hell? Evolution and Religion, I address many false evidences presented by mainstream science, in support of Darwinian Evolution.

So, if Darwinian Evolution is on unstable foundations, then raises the open dialogue for a consideration of Intelligent Design. A simple example is DNA. The language structure and coding and execution of those genetic codes is a red alert, in itself! The distinctive thumbprints, retinal structures and unique patterns on each flake of snow is just mind-boggling, if you may!

I mean, I don’t have to be a genius to come to these conclusions.

But what about pain, suffering, sickness and poverty? These areas heavily affected by such plagues and infestations usually don’t practice good hygiene, moral tolerance and respect for human life. Places such as large portions of Africa, India and the Middle East subscribe to a religion that does not address the basic elements of daily life.

A fine example of Social Darwinism in full execution was Nazi Germany. If the Holocaust didn’t happen, with all due respect to all the individuals and families who were in direct involvement, humanity would’t fully comprehend the DANGERS OF SOCIAL DARWINISM, and we would continue in beliefs of what makes the minority elite feel happy; while the majority suffer.

And looking also at ISIS and Al-Qaeda. Why does God allow them to live and do the things that they do? These vigilantes profess a certain basis of beliefs that are obviously promoting violence, and oppression of those who think and believe differently. And yet the majority continue to follow those creeds and religious forms.

Therefore, with life – forced obedience, love, and civil order, is not realistic. There needs to be a process of having all other alternatives explored or allowed to grow, but by their fruits you shall know them. As for the dead, they are in a much better place then a living-breathing middle class worker struggling to keep the bills paid, or a person on I.V. in a hospital bed unconscious in a coma.

The Bible sheds some light on the existence of a just and fair God, in Matthew 13: 24-30, which says “Another parable put he forth unto them, saying, The kingdom of heaven is likened unto a man which sowed good seed in his field. But while men slept, his enemy came and sowed tares among the wheat, and went his way. But when the blade was sprung up, and brought forth fruit, then appeared the tares also. So the servants of the householder came and said unto him, Sir, didst not thou sow good seed in thy field? from whence then hath it tares? He said unto them, An enemy hath done this. The servants said unto him, Wilt thou then that we go and gather them up? But he said, Nay; lest while ye gather up the tares, ye root up also the wheat with them. Let both grow together until the harvest: and in the time of harvest I will say to the reapers, Gather ye together first the tares, and bind them in bundles to burn them: but gather the wheat into my barn.”

Likewise, God allowed Lucifer to dwell in His Presence in Heaven, until “iniquity was found” in him. (Ezekiel 28:15)
Iniquity, the willful act of sins, and an accumulation and repetition of it despite knowing the wrongfulness.

God does exist. Open up your eyes and see that our planet floats on NOTHING! It is upheld by NOTHING visible! God is allowing every man to live the life of which they want to live, but know this: God will bring all actions into judgement. The fruits of every person’s life choices will determine their destiny! Not only after death, but every single day ahead!

If you like this, please show some love. Please also check out my new book, Sex. Hell? Evolution and Religion. It’s a fairly logical book based on the major religions and the various aspects of life. Connect with us via e-mail: big.life.questions.101@gmail.com

A Religious Influence in Society

June 17, 2019

Religious Influence…Music artist Rihanna poses in a papal stylized outfit for the 2018 Met Gala in New York.
(Photo: Jamie McCarthy/ Getty Images)

Religious practice and worship of deities and supernatural beings, have been the foundations of human history and society ever since. This is proven by history and archaeology.

For example, in 1994, German archaeologist Klaus Schmidt, in collaboration with the Turkish Şanlıurfa Museum, excavated the Göbekli Tepe temple site in Southeastern Turkey. They unearthed the first few pillars of what archaeologists claim to be the site of the oldest megaliths ever discovered in human history. It is presumed to be older than the Stone Henge (measuring through stratigraphy, or the observation of rock layers and stratification). The ancient site contains 200 large pillars all above six metres in height and weighs up to 10 tonnes (10,000 kg) in weight. This would have required hundreds of people to construct. National Geographic writer Charles Mann, in his article The Birth of Religion (which appeared in the June 2011 National Geographic magazine) writes, ‘As important as what the researchers found was what they did not find: any sign of habitation. Hundreds of people must have been required to carve and erect the pillars, but the site had no water source—the nearest stream was about three miles away. Those workers would have needed homes, but excavations have uncovered no sign of walls, hearths, or houses—no other buildings that Schmidt has interpreted as domestic. They would have had to be fed, but there is also no trace of agriculture. For that matter, Schmidt has found no mess kitchens or cooking fires. It was purely a ceremonial center. If anyone ever lived at this site, they were less its residents than its staff.’ This reveals that the gathering of worship sparked civilization – not agriculture.¹

Massive pillars at the temple Göbekli Tepe, (more than 5,000 years old) in Southeast Turkey.
Claimed to be the oldest megalith ever discovered in human history (Picture: Vincent J. Musi)

Atheism and its rise to fame, owes a lot to the Greek philosopher Protagoras (B.C. 481-411) who famously preached, “As to the gods, I have no means of knowing either that they exist or that they do not exist. For many are the obstacles that impede knowledge, both the obscurity of the question and the shortness of human life.” For this ideology, the Athenians rejected him for thinking nonsense and burned his books. ²
On the other hand, modern agnosticism was publicly defined by Thomas Henry Huxley at the meeting of the Metaphysical Society in London, in 1869. Huxley, a British biologist and a Darwin-evolutionist, stated, “It came into my head as suggestively antithetical to the ‘Gnostic’ of Church history who professed to know so much about the very things of which I was ignorant.” ³ Modern atheism, agnosticism and skepticism are concepts meditated upon by certain influential individuals, but does not reflect the beliefs and affirmations of the majority of humanity.

A demographic study of more than 230 countries and territories, done by the Pew Research Center’s Forum on Religion & Public Life (a research team based in Washington D.C.), finds that there are 5.8 billion adults and children who are practicing religion. This represents 84% of the 2010 world population of 6.9 billion people.⁴
While on the other hand, another recent Pew Forum research study found that about 1.1 billion (16% of the world’s population) have no religious affiliation. But ‘Surveys indicate that many of the unaffiliated hold some religious or spiritual beliefs (such as belief in God or a universal spirit) even though they do not identify with a particular faith.’ ⁵

But religious non-affiliation (atheism, agnostic, skeptic) does not mean absence of religious practices such as belief in a god, use of or in reference to a god, rituals, or prayer. Another ironic finding was that non-religious atheists were actually MORE religious than Christians – specifically in the United States of America. In fact, in the United States of America, the secular society have adapted and used religious themes in social gatherings on numerous occasions. The biggest example recently was the 2018 Costume Institute Gala at New York’s Metropolitan Museum of Art. It is the biggest annual event on the fashion fundraising calendar. Started in 1948, today brings together the most famous faces from fashion, film, music and art to celebrate the launch of the Institute’s latest exhibition. The 2018 fashion exhibition was themed Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination.

The BIG LIFE QUESTIONS here is Why is there insufficient evidence of an existing god or gods? If God so exists, who is it/he/she? how are they/them/it/he/she , in terms of personality? Or, if there is a God, why is there so much suffering and killing?

Please look forward to the second part of this article where we will answer these questions. Also, we are launching an e-book at the end of this month entitled, ‘Seven Religious Doctrines Not Found in the Bible.’ The short book will simply discuss pilgrimages, sexual obsession and perversion in religion, blind faith and the Force, among other interesting Food For Thought topics. If you are interested, email us at big.life.questions.101@gmail.com. We would be happy to converse and get in contact with you!

Citations
1. Manns, C. (2011). The Birth of Religion. The National Geograhic. [online] Available at: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/magazine/2011/06/gobeki-tepe/ [Accessed 17 Jun. 2019].

2. Laertius, Diogenese (2013). Lives of Eminent Philosophers (English Translation). 9th ed. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, pp.464, 465.

3. (AGNOSTICISM Encycloaedia Britannica: Encyclopaedia Britannica Deluxe Edition. Chicago: Encyclopaedia Britannica, 2011)

4. https://assets.pewresearch.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/11/2014/01/global-religion-full.pdf

5. https://www.pewforum.org/2012/12/18/global-religious-landscape-exec/ 3. (AGNOSTICISM Encycloaedia Britannica: Encyclopaedia Britannica Deluxe Edition. Chicago: Encyclopaedia Britannica, 2011)

Finishing Strong

June 6, 2019

Everyone has the desire to look good and feel good. I believe our bodies (exceptions for those in a hospital bed of course!) represent our mental strength – whether we strive for excellence, are overwhelmed with insecurities, or that we are living disorderly lives.

**Science reveals that physical wellbeing is possible, even in old age**. (Photo: composita )

The BIG LIFE QUESTION here is, ‘Is physical frailty directly proportionate to older age?’

Published research by the University of Pittsburg (September, 2011) provide some answers. The ‘study [findings] contradicts the common observation that muscle mass and strength decline as a function of aging alone. Instead, these declines may signal the effect of chronic disuse rather than muscle aging.’ Also, that the ‘maintenance of muscle mass and strength may decrease or eliminate the…functional decline…that are commonly seen in aging adults.’ But that’s not the only scientific research providing answers. Echoing similar findings is a much recent research study conducted by Dr. Arora Duggal of the University of Birmingham, Dr. Ross Pollock of King’s College in London and other leading scientists in the United Kingdom. Published early last year, it was concluded ‘…that many features of immune-senescence (deterioration of the immune system) may be driven by reduced physical activity with age.’

Whatever age bracket or era we may be in our lives, as long as there is breath in our nostrils, there is still a chance – an opportunity to finish strong. And a living example of this is Dixon Hemphill. Introducing Mr. Hemphill, a US Navy veteran, a car crash survivor (aged 74 at the time) and currently a 93 year old world class athlete runner. In 2016, at 91 years old, the Department of Exercise and Nutrition Sciences at the George Washington University, conducted studies on his physicality. It was found that Mr. Hemphill had 14.2% of body fat, which is equivalent to a 20-year old athlete. Also, a VO2 max test conducted on him (reviewing his body’s efficiency in oxygen usage) revealed that he had better physical fitness than many people thirty years his younger.

**Finishing strong…** **93 year old Dixon Hemphill** **against his good friend** **100 year old Orville Rogers. Dixon won this US Athletics Track and Field Masters 60m sprint by 0.12 seconds.**
(Photo: Dave Albo)

And finally, I have learned that coupling a healthy diet, adequate sleep and mental (and spiritual) enlightenment, with daily physical activity has helped me become goal oriented and purpose driven. Through about five minutes to an hour of bodyweight exercises, I maintain a flat tummy and a lean built physique just by targeting the upper and lower body interchangeably on every other day. And if I have a busy and tiring week, I strive to hit at least one day of upper body and another day of lower body workouts. But if worst comes to worst, a day of (an hour’s worth) full body workout per week.

It is therefore safe to say, that physical activity daily (with healthy lifestyle habits and nutrition) is enough to keep you finishing physically strong, even long into the twilight years of life.

The Need to be Right – All the Time!

Most people naturally develop a need to be right, all the time! From two headstrong individuals who are always arguing in a relationship, to a strongly persuasive individual in a group – we all portray narcissism in various amounts.

In a 2004 press conference, two years after the beginning of the Iraq war and still no evidence of weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, President George W. Bush, Jr. was asked if he could identify any mistakes made as U.S. President; he struggled over the question, failing to admit the disappointing reality of the Iraq invasion. A war which spanned over 9 years, claiming the lives of thousands of innocent Iraqis, multinational troops and journalists altogether.

George W. Bush during his video conference in April, 2004

Geroge W. Bush at Southern Methodist University, Texas on May 19, 2022

For some small mistakes that we involuntarily commit, it is easy to resolve. But what about major mistakes involving more than one, five, hundred or a thousand people, which WE may have caused physical and emotional harm, without seeking resolve? Can our conscience let us sleep peacefully at night? What about karma? realising that all these mistakes will be recompensed back to us many times over (this has been my experience).

The BIG QUESTION to ask here is, Why do we continually strive over being right?

NPD, or Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a mental health condition. Symptoms include a self projected sense of self importance, need for constant admiration and an excessive need for attention from others; also, self acclaimed superiority without reasons and achievements to support it, behave in an arrogant manner, boastful, have an inability or unwillingness to recognize the needs and feelings of others; and being envious of others and believe others envy them. According to Health Direct Australia, causes may vary: but from known cases, some causes are over-praising and excessive pampering – when parents focus intensely on a particular talent or the physical appearance of their child; insensitive parenting, childhood trauma (left unresolved), excessive criticism from a young age, and abuse. According to Mayo Clinic, people with narcissistic personality disorder may not want to think that anything could be wrong, so they may be unlikely to seek treatment. If they do seek treatment, it’s more likely to be for symptoms of depression, drug or alcohol use, or another mental health problem. But perceived insults to self-esteem may make it difficult to accept and follow through with treatment. Treatment recommended initially is talk therapy.

I recently sought forgiveness from some dear people that I had hurt many years earlier because of my narcissistic obsession to be right. And because of the accumulated years, finally receiving their forgiveness was like rebirth. I just felt a renewed freedom. Carrying that guilt for so long!

My advice for those maybe sensing their personal struggle with being narcissistic, and wanting to recover, is to strengthen current relationships. People need people.

And that first step involves being a listening ear; consider an alternative opinion besides your own. Don’t think critically at first when people talk to you, just listen. Be sympathetic with others. Don’t entertain bullying or demeaning comments towards you, but learn to listen more and speak less.

I strongly believe forfeiting a friendship or an important relationship, just for the sake of being right is tragic! I have come to the conclusion that it is more important for me to concede a disagreement or difference of opinion, rather than prove myself all the time and lose relationships. The Bible suggests to us to avoid petty arguments.
(Titus 3:9; 2 Timothy 2:23-26)

Well, anyway, if you need professional advice (for anxiety or depression), talk therapy, or just a listening ear, you can contact beyondblue.org.au for online chat, or call them on +1300 22 4636 in Australia. In the UK, you can reach out mentalhealth.org.uk
or in the U.S., you can link up with talkspace.com

Like always, connect with us and we’ll be very happy to chat with you, answer any BIG Q’s you might have, and just develop a relationship! Email us at biglifequestions27@gmail.com

Breaking Free from Bondage

Bob Bashara, formerly a resident of Grosse Pointe Park, Detroit, is appealing for a re-trial before the courts of Michigan state, after serving seven years of a life sentence. In 2016, Bashara was handed a life sentence by the Detroit federal court, based on five counts of first-degree murder, conspiracy to commit first-degree murder, solicitation of murder, obstruction of justice and witness intimidation. This brought much anticipated closure after the murder of Bob’s wife, Jane Bashara, back in 2012.

On January 25, 2012, Jane Bashara was found dead in her SUV in a secluded street in Detroit. Forensic assessment revealed that she died of strangulation.
Joseph Gentz, an employee of Bob Bashara, was at first offered thousands of dollars and a Cadillac by Bob Bashara to commit the murder. He was then held at gunpoint by Bob until he strangled Jane Bashara to death. Authorities concluded that Bob wanted his wife dead because of his ongoing affair with Rachel Gillett, and other sexual involvements.

Bob Bashara, during his appeal for re-trial in 2018, which was denied by the Michigan State Supreme Court.
Photo: Detroit News

Bob’s lawyer, Ronald Ambrose, has filed a 110-page petition on Friday 24 May, 2019 claiming unlawful detainment. Bob Bashara’s team also argue that he was “denied the constitutional right to effective assistance of counsel.” Additionally, that the jury’s decision on his sentence was biased and heavily influenced by the publicity of the case by the media.

Happier days… Jane (left) and Bob, while the two were in Hawaii. This was 2011, months before the murder.
Photo: Bashara Family (posted in Detroit News)

Bob and Jane Bashara were a fine example of a financially stable and happy couple, living in the upper suburbs of Grosse Point Park, Detroit. Bob was the son of a judge, who managed a number of personally owned properties around Detroit. Jane, on the other hand, worked as a Marketing Executive, and had worked her way up the corporate hierarchy.

“This was a situation where a very prominent man in the community ultimately had his wife murdered,” said Judge Vonda Evans.
About Joseph Gentz, Judge Evans said, “Handicapped by not only his mental capabilities, but his social upbringing. Bob realized that and took advantage of [Joseph Gentz], and began to manipulate him.”

Joseph Gentz, an employed handyman of Bob Bashara who was coerced into the murder of Jane Bashara.

Mentioned in this story is the age-old theme of self-gratification at the expense of others – this time, at the expense of an innocent woman’s life.

The BIG QUESTION here is CAN THIS HAPPEN TO ME?
We humans instinctively opt for self-preservation when it comes to confronting the extent of our wrongs. Whether it’s murder, a lifestyle health condition or breaking a plague of addiction – whatever the degree of extremity – it takes extraordinary willpower to address ourselves, and consider our role in the dilemma. Bob Bashara in a media interview continues to state his innocence. “Joe Gentz has admitted killing my wife. I did not conspire with him. I’m not a gun person, I’m a Christian and a pacifist, and I don’t believe in violence, I don’t believe in guns.”

The Bible is a discerning doctor concerning the human and diagnoses this symptom in II Thessalonians 2:10-12, ‘…because they refused to love the truth and so be saved. Therefore God sends them a strong delusion, so that they may believe what is false, in order that they may be condemned who did not believe the truth but had pleasure in unrighteousness.’
Here the Bible says God allows willingly self-righteous and ignorant people to be deluded; since they stubbornly ignore counsel and warnings. This eventually will lead to their condemnation, not only here in this life (whether it’s imprisonment, a slow death, lack of meaningful personal relationships, and more), but also forfeit their right to immortality.

Personally, I have learned that the indulgence in self-gratification and self-obsessions eventually leads to broken relationships, abuse of oneself, and self degradation.
I believe we individuals have accumulated hurt, bitterness and unresolved issues within us that we don’t deal with throughout our life. This can sometimes feed the unhealthy vices within us and become catalysts for aggressive, malignant behaviour.
There is a saying which states, “hurt people, hurt people.”
Bob may have been abused earlier in his life, and left unresolved, manifested itself in unfaithfulness to his wife, and eventually conspiring her murder.

Self-reflection would be the greatest moral virtue I would salvage from this unfortunate story. In 2017, when Mr. Bashara’s appeal for re-trial was denied by the Michigan Supreme Court, Assistant Wayne County Prosecutor Maria Miller said in a statement: “The Michigan Supreme Court correctly denied Bashara’s leave to appeal. He will have the rest of his life in prison to reflect upon the cruel murder of his wife, and the devastating consequences for his children, family members, and the many friends of Jane Bashara.” Also, after his sentencing in 2016, Judge Evans stated, “Many individuals who saw the trial were saddened, they were angered, but hopefully there will be lives that will be changed so that we don’t ever — me or any other judge — ever have to see another Jane Bashara.”

The fact is folks, we all are capable of such atrocity (or even worse!). We lack the internal power to resist evil, let alone solve the hurts and emotional wounds within us. It takes something beyond us, and something outside of us to empower that emotional healing. For the Bible says, “For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing…wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?” (Romans 7:19,24)

In my lifetime journey, I have been able to experience inner healing, not by some supernatural mystical event, but after failed relationships, and really humbling myself and taking time to really dig deep within myself. I am privileged to have been introduced to the Comforting Spirit, which is God the Holy Spirit. He is the ever available and ever present (not seen physically, but is interactive) companion to every living soul. Jesus Christ introduces Him in John 16:7-8,
” Nevertheless I tell you the truth; It is expedient for you that I go away: for if I go not away, the Comforter will not come unto you; but if I depart, I will send him unto you.
And when he is come, he will reprove the world of sin, and of righteousness, and of judgment.” Here, firstly, The Comforter nudges at our conscience (allowing us to realize vices within us, unresolved bitterness and hurt, and the process by which led us to our current state), He then reveals solutions (whether it be seeking counsel from people who have overcome issues that we are currently struggling with, Godly counsel through Bible texts, meditation and prayerful conversation with God; and forming new and healthier lifestyle habits, and much more); and finally, the Comforter allows us to understand the possible extent of failing to adhere to counsel and pursuing resolution to our inner conflicts.

But rejoice! For we are not alone in our life journey friends! No matter if you’re in the bottomless pit, out in the middle of a lonely scary ocean, God the Holy Spirit is always available (Psalm 139:7-9). People will fail and abandon us, of course. But as long as we have breath in us, there is still opportunity for healing and change. Don’t wallow in the fact that you have been hurt or mistreated or cheated by others. You have the authority to overcome all things through Jesus who strengthens you (Philippians 4:13). Today is the day for salvation, today is the day to break free from bondage!