3 August, 2022
As a prelude, this article is inspired by the love story of former Prison warden Florent Goncalves and the attractive inmate Emma Arbabzadeh in the Versailles women’s prison, in France. It was then exaggerated in the French film Éperdument in 2016.
Developing a close acquaintance with someone is very powerful. Powerful in the sense of its impact on our mental health and also our physiology. A continual interaction with a complementary gender may lead to feelings of affection and a growing emotional attachment. Likewise, a growing friendship with a counterpart of the same gender may develop camaraderie and reliability. But in most situations as such, trust and familiarity springs forth. From a biological perspective, oxytocin is produced, with varying amounts, from these interactions.
Firstly, in terms of the development of an affectionate and intimate acquaintance, there may be a surge of attraction which may naturally erupt into sexual interaction. Despite how obviously fulfilling and satisfying sex appears to be, it can never be the ultimate goal of an intimate friendship. Sex in itself can not exclusively guarantee for you and your lover a durable and healthy relationship far into the future. Sexual activity should be regarded as a reward for enduring adversity together as a couple, overcoming challenges and distractions – and at the end of it still finding value and a deepened interest in each other and your relationship together.
In an age of saturation with lust and promiscuity, the act of sexual pleasure (the highest mutual activity a couple can engage in together and with each other) is cheapened and publicized as nothing more than a popular sales and marketing object.
Secondly, it would be more rewarding for couples who would like to advance their friendship to greater closeness, to consider other mutual activities such as service to the less fortunate, assisting each other in excelling in their careers, education, and learning new skills together.
Furthermore, we can find wisdom in the proverb, ‘It is better to pull the trigger when the gun is loaded in order to securely hit the target.’ Contextually, the trigger here can be sex; the loaded gun is an ever-developing relationship filled with history of surviving the adversities of life and challenges of reality together, and still being able to find value in each other and in your relationship together. The target here are your goals as a couple, and a long-lasting, healthy and satisfactory relationship.
Finally, it is naïve and immature to ignore the fact that a couple’s relationship affects their neighbours, workmates, associates, friends, relatives and family members. If a couple can consider serving their community in a positive and constructive manner, there will be widespread acceptance and support from those around you (whom you respect and consider important to you) towards your relationship as a couple.
In conclusion, I have personally come through two failed long-term relationships and these are some pointers that I have salvaged from my past romantic experiences. Sex should be used as an activity of affirmation and not used as a lustful act to smother yourselves in sweat, pleasure and vanity. Keep it special. Consider its power to bond two people together and can also becloud rational and reasonable decision making.
Have a great day! Don’t be afraid to love but be mindful that loving someone requires servitude and self-sacrifice. It’ll cost ya!
BIG LIFE QUESTIONS 